If you’re a father and you’re dealing with custody issues, there are certain stereotypes and myths about dads that you have to overcome. In order to be successful in your custody case, you really have to know what these myths are and how to handle them when you’re dealing with the court system, because whether you like it or not, they are going to impact your case.

Let’s take a look at this crucial topic regarding stereotypes having to do with fathers and custody battles and dispel some common myths.

Myth #1 Mothers are naturally better caregivers

This is an extremely prevalent myth that mothers are for some reason, naturally better caregivers than fathers are. And this is a stereotype that has and will continue to influence custody decisions.

However, it is important to recognize that caregiving is not inherently linked to gender. As you already know, fathers are equally capable of providing nurturing, effective, loving parenting to their children as their female counterparts might be. Studies have shown that children benefit from the active involvement of fathers in their lives just as much as they do from having that active involvement come from their mothers.

Some courts, unfortunately, have been slow to acknowledge this fact in their decisions. And those courts, unfortunately, again, continue to focus on traditional gender roles and they don’t actually focus on what the best interests of the child are.

So this is a myth that, as a father, in a custody case, you really have to focus on and pinpoint your role in your child or children’s life and exactly what benefit you bring to your children which should be relatively straightforward, as long as you’re thinking about it beforehand.

Myth #2. Father’s only want custody to avoid paying child support

The reason that this myth stays around is because it is effective in diminishing the opportunities that fathers have to spend with their children in custody scenarios.

This myth is not only unfair, but it also overlooks the true loving and genuine interest that many fathers have in being actively involved in their children’s lives and are fighting to see their children.

If you’re a father and you’re asking for more custody, let’s say just for the sake of argument to avoid child support, that doesn’t really make sense because you’re going to end up spending that money on your kids when your kids are with you.

Accordingly, it’s crucial for courts and society to recognize the emotional and physical contributions that fathers wished to make. And that their participation in their children’s lives is not just dollar signs on a spreadsheet. It’s a real relationship with their children that really no price tag can be put on.

Myth #3. Fathers are less capable of meeting their children’s emotional needs

Now this myth underestimates the emotional bonds that fathers share with their children.

As you know fathers play a critical role in the emotional, social, physical, and other areas of development of their children.

In fact, studies have shown that paternal involvement has been linked to better social, academic and psychological outcomes for children as opposed to those outcomes for children that did not have their father as strongly present in their lives.

Myth #4 The legal system always favors mothers

Historically, it is true that the legal system has been biased towards mothers and custody cases.
It’s also true that some modern family law courts strive to evaluate both parents on equal footing, focusing on the welfare of the child or children as the paramount concern.

However, judges are human and still have biases and some of those biases are inevitably going to be the bias that mothers are better caretakers of children or mothers are better able to support the children’s emotional needs for example. It’s important to understand what those biases are, how they come about, and how to deconstruct, address and ultimately destroy them when you find yourself in a court scenario.

Father’s Rights & Tips Moving Forward

If you’re a father facing a custody battle, it’s important to understand your rights. The biases that you’re dealing with and how to present your case effectively. And I want to wrap up with just a couple of tips.

#1. Document your involvement in your child’s life.

While it may seem rudimentary thinking of the step-by-step process of how you interact with your child or children from the time that they wake up in the morning until the time that they go down to bed at night it is going to be important for you to demonstrate the bond that you have with your children.

Having concrete examples of the things that you do for and with your children is going to be extremely important for you to paint a picture of your role in your children’s lives.

#2. Seek legal advice early to understand your rights and prepare your case.

If you’re a father, unfortunately it is an uphill climb to succeed and or prevail in a custody battle.

However, it’s not impossible so talking to somebody and getting the advice and counsel of somebody who has done this before and who is effectively represented fathers and getting custodial rights of their children is absolutely paramount for you. When you are trying to achieve that same result.

#3. Stay focused on your child’s best interests and demonstrate how your involvement benefits them.

Often fathers want to go on the offensive against the mother and talk about how the mother is a bad parent and then at the end of the day ask for 50- 50 custody. The time that you have as a father in a custody case is much better spent building yourself up as a father talking about how great your relationship is with your child and talking about why your child needs you in their life. Court know that you and your soon to be ex or already ex don’t get along and that’s why you’re in court, so you really don’t need to belabor that point, but what they don’t know is what your role in your child’s life is and that’s really what it’s your job to say.

Dismantling stereotypes is not just about changing laws, but it’s also about changing minds. The judge on the bench is a human being and you need to point out to them that you are a good parent and you need to be in your child’s life. The more we talk about and recognize the valuable role that fathers play in children’s upbringing the more balanced and fair custody decisions can and will become in the future.